Episode 260-Discovering God's Faithfulness in our Knotted-Up Lives with Beth Moore
How can we look at our lives and see God's faithfulness throughout the knots of disappointment, betrayal, criticism or abuse? How can we trust the goodness of God when so much has gone wrong in our lives?
For Bible teacher and author Beth Moore, her life has been a series of knots. From being sexually abused as a child to extreme criticism from those who proclaim Christ, Beth's life has been full of pain to untangle. But with every difficulty, every pain, Beth has seen her desperate need for Jesus even more. It has been through the twists and turns of life that she has come to realize that no person and no set of circumstances can satisfy like the love of Jesus. Openly and honestly, Beth has journeyed this path with the Lord for a lifetime to find that He is worth every step of it.
In this profound conversation, Beth talks with Davey and Aubrey about how the crucible of life can bring about a fountain of deep passion for the Lord, the only way to endure criticism as a leader, and how our crushing can lead to more of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
If you need encouragement from a seasoned believer to finish your race well in the midst of all that you are facing, this episode will give you the strength to keep fighting the good fight of faith.
Episode 259-Learning to Remember While Thinking Forward After Loss with Jonathan Pitts
What happens when we start to share our story of pain and loss? How can retelling what we've walked through help us in healing?
For Jonathan Pitts, sharing the story of how he lost his wife, Wynter, has been a part of the process God has used to heal his greatest loss. In 2018, life was going well for Jonathan and his family. With an exciting upcoming move to the Nashville area and a new position as a pastor, Jonathan, Wynter and their four girls were excited about what was ahead. But within moments, their lives took a tragic turn that none of them could have imagined when Wynter died suddenly from a heart related issue. Just like that, Jonathan and his girls were on a new trajectory in their lives as they continued on with the move and began a completely new life without Wynter.
In this episode, Davey and Jonathan talk about how so much of our healing can come as we share parts of our story, the importance of having permission to feel what we feel, and ways we can combat shame in our grief.
Life has taken unexpected turns for the Pitts family as Jonathan has now remarried and pivoted in his professional life, but this conversation is a reminder that as much as life can change in an instant, God remains the same.
Episode 258-Finding God’s Freedom from Trauma with Dr. Elizabeth Stevens
Sometimes, we can try to cover up our past pain with that which we can control—achievement, performance, productivity. But at some point, those coping mechanisms cannot mask the hurt we are feeling deep inside anymore. What do you do when what you've done to run from your past no longer works to hide what you're truly feeling?
For Dr. Elizabeth (Ellie) Stevens, there came a point when what she did to keep the pain from her childhood sexual abuse at bay, no longer worked. She found that she could no longer hide behind performance and her achievements and instead had to face what was below the surface. It took another string of traumas including a sexual assault and traumatic brain injury to bring up the ache she had been ignoring, but when she did, she found that God invited her towards something new— freedom. Even when her poor decisions heaped shame on top of all she was enduring, she was able to start to experience the depth of God's love in the middle of the mess of emotions she was enduring. Now, as a psychiatrist, trauma survivor and veteran, Dr. Stevens has taken what she has learned in her own journey to help veterans and first responders in theirs.
In this conversation, Davey talks with Dr. Stevens about how we often use achievement and performance to cope with our past, the power of God shown through our weakness, and how trauma can help us move from conditional to unconditional love.
If you find yourself trying to hide your past pain through achievement and performance and you are ready to experience the freedom God has for you, this episode will encourage you that God wants to release you from that which threatens to hold you back from
Episode 257-Embracing the Messy and Complicated Journey of Adoption and Fostering with Jillana Goble
Parenting is complicated whichever way you come into it. When grief and trauma are part of the equation, it can add even more layers to navigate. How do you sit in the messiness of adoption and fostering while learning to see the joys and the wins in the midst of it?
For Jillana Goble, it has been through the challenges of parenting via birth, foster care, and adoption that she has learned to welcome the invitations the Lord offers in the tensions of it all. As she said yes to the difficulties and joys, she has seen her own understanding of God and family widen in an unimaginable way. She has learned that parenting of any kind does not come with a road map or a formula with a promise, but rather it is the small, daily obediences to say yes to loving our children well in all circumstances. It is there that we begin to see God show up in places that were once thought to be irrevocably broken.
In this conversation, Davey sits down with Jillana to discuss the often complicated nature of adoption and fostering that we don't always see as well as how understanding how integrated we are-mind, body and soul-can help us love kids who have gone through unfathomable loss and trauma and how in it all, Jesus shows up in the mess.
Whether you have adopted or fostered or know someone who has, this episode will help you see that God invites us to know Him more through the imperfect and often difficult stories we all walk through.
Episode 256-Parenting Our Kids through Trauma and Everyday Challenges with David Thomas
Perhaps one of the greatest questions that comes after trauma or tragedy is how do we help our kids navigate pain? What do we as parents need to look for after loss or in the everyday struggles that kids are facing? When do we need to bring in an expert to help and what can we do in the in between?
David Thomas knows all too well the questions that emerge when families encounter crisis and the everyday difficulties plaguing our children. As a licensed counselor at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, TN, he has met with hundreds of kids and has walked with them through all sorts of challenges from trauma, grief and loss to anxiety and depression. What he has noticed in his clinical experience is that above all else, kids need parents willing to do the same emotional work of healing that they are wanting for their children. When we as parents start to look at our own stories, we can better help our children through theirs.
In this practical and timely conversation, Davey sits down with David to discuss why we need to do our own work as parents, the importance of following our child's lead after pain, understanding behavior as communication as well as how to help kids navigate anxiety and technology.
If you are struggling to know what to do with the pain or challenges your child is experiencing, this episode is full of helpful wisdom to help you parent well in the midst of it.
Episode 255-The Importance of Engaging Your Story and Trauma with Adam Young
So often, we tend to think very little about our story and how our past impacts our present. But, what if the key to healing the wounds we are experiencing now is inextricably tied to engaging our whole story including our past?
For professional counselor and podcaster Adam Young, it was when he began to engage his story, the wounds of his past and his family of origin, that he started to see the ways in which God wanted to meet him in his pain. This idea of not just dealing with the symptoms of past wounds, but looking at the arc of our lives became the most important tool Adam had in his private practice with others who were wanting to heal from the past. It also connected perfectly with what we know to be true about the human brain and how it makes sense of the things that have happened to us.
In this deeply profound conversation, Davey and Adam talk about why it is so important to engage our stories, the difference between trauma and adversity, how to handle people who have wounded us, and how this work can lead to healing and health in our relationships, including our closest ones like in our marriage.
If you've ever wondered how to connect the dots between your earliest memories and what you are experiencing now, this episode is full of insightful wisdom on how to step into your story with compassion and curiosity.
Episode 254-When the Darkness of Postpartum Depression Doesn’t Lift with Julie Thomas
WARNING: This episode contains conversations about suicide ideation and may not be suitable for all listeners/viewers.
Having a baby seems like it will be a season full of unending joy, but for many mothers, the elation of a new child can bring with it an unforeseen darkness too. Recent studies suggest one in every eight women experience postpartum depression. It can be jarring to experience the joy of new life while also enduring the pain of depression and anxiety in the wake. How do you move through the darkness into the light when it feels impossible?
For Julie Thomas, she couldn't have imagined the way in which darkness would seem to take over. Well after the birth of her child, she was experiencing a depression that would not lift. It felt hopeless and isolating, so much so that she contemplated taking her own life. While her story isn't one of instantaneous healing, God taught her the slow and steady way He can heal when we turn to Him in the depths of our pain. For her, it was a combination of safe people, leaning into scripture and sharing her story with others that would eventually help the fog of depression clear.
In this episode, Davey and Julie talk about what to do when you become afraid of both the darkness and the light, how to help someone through a season of depression, and why telling your story can become a catalyst towards healing.
This conversation will help the one who needs hope in the most desperate of places as well as the one who wants to be a help when someone they love are suffering in the dark. And it will remind us all that no matter what difficulties we are facing, we are not alone.
Episode 253-Special Release: Vision and Purpose in Your Pain with Davey Blackburn
After tragedy, trauma or transition, it can be hard to find vision for a way forward. Often times, our pain can cloud any idea of a future or plans besides our deepest ache. How can we start to see above the fog of what has happened to us and begin to believe that God has a greater vision for our life beyond suffering?
In this special release episode, Davey talks about the importance of vision when it comes to our pain to purpose journey as well as the God-given vision he has for Nothing is Wasted as a ministry. Get a glimpse into what you can expect in the days to come from Nothing is Wasted and how we can help you partner with God to take back your story.
Proverbs tells us that "without vision, the people perish." Without vision, we can find ourselves wrestling with doubt, fear or hopelessness. Without vision, we can believe that the heartache we are experiencing is all there is for us. If you're struggling to see past your pain and looking to tether your life to purpose, this conversation is for you.
Episode 252-Parenting Your Wayward Adult Kids with Joy with Mary DeMuth
Every parent looks into the eyes of their young child with hopeful anticipation for their future. What do you do when the dreams you had seem to shatter and you find your relationship with your child not what you had imagined? How do you continue to love well when their choices are taking them down a road of relational disconnection, personal pain or destruction?
Through her own parenting journey and by watching others, Mary DeMuth has learned how to surrender her ideas of what should be and lean into what is when it comes to her children. In fact, her most recent book, Love, Pray, Listen: Parenting Your Wayward Adult Kids with Joy, is a guide to help any parent navigating the murky waters of parenting adult children who have chosen a path contrary to what was hoped for.
As a sexual abuse survivor, Mary had to learn how to parent well while healing from her own story. She also had to learn to trust God in the messiness of her own children's stories and not to parent out of fear, but instead rely on God's love for her kids to be enough. By looking at Scripture and the first example of wayward children in the Garden of Eden, Mary has found comfort and solace in knowing that God not only sees her pain, but also understands the journey she is on.
In this raw conversation, Mary and Davey talk about how our healing can often come through our giftings, why formulas don't work in parenting and the power of surrendering our kids and their journeys to the loving care of the Lord.
No matter where you are in parenting, this episode will help you remember that ultimately God is in control of your children's lives and that no matter what, He cares for them and for you.
Episode 251-Deciding to Trust God before the Unexpected Comes with Melissa Swain
How do you prepare yourself for loss? What do you do in the days before your world encounters a seismic shift? Can you ever truly be ready to face your greatest pain?
For Melissa Swain, nothing could fully prepare her for the unexpected loss of her husband, Chris, in 2021 but in the days long before such a tragic grief, she had made the decision to trust God no matter what. Just a few years before in 2019, her family faced the unexpected death of her brother, Aaron. In a way, the Lord used that difficult time to prepare her heart for more grief she would walk through as a widow. As Melissa wrestled through the pain of losing her sibling and then her husband, she was faced with more unexpected circumstances when the fate of her husband's almost finished manuscript laid in the hands of his publisher. Was she the one to take his work and bring it across the finish line? She did and the book they completed unexpectedly together called "Write it On Their Hearts: Practical Help for Discipling Your Kids" was not only a way to keep her connected to Chris after his death, but it also served as a means for him to continue to love and parent his children in the days that followed while helping other families as well.
In this candid conversation, Davey talks with Melissa about what it looks like to grieve well, why our pre-decisions about God are so important when it comes to preparing us for pain, and how to wait on God when you aren't sure what is next.
If you've ever wondered how you could prepare your heart for the suffering that inevitably comes this side of heaven, Melissa's hard-won wisdom will encourage you to decide who you think God is before you ever get that phone call that changes everything.
Episode 250-Walking through Past Trauma in Marriage with Quinton and Tameca Graham
We all come into marriage with our past hurts and hangups. How do you begin to untangle the knots from your previous life and start to build a new, healthy one together? What do you do when shame seems to overshadow everything within your relationship?
For Quinton and Tameca Graham, it took a lot of open communication and grace from God in order to heal their hearts individually and together in their marriage. Tameca's past of being a teen mom in a single-parent home plus the trauma she endured made it hard to feel worthy for the love of Quinton. Quinton, a pastor who had his own story of heartbreak, wasn't quick to give up and stepped into the difficulties in order to have a thriving marriage.
Together, their own stories plus their one together have become a ministry to other couples struggling to learn how to walk through past trauma into the freedom and joy God has for them. In this conversation, Quinton and Tameca share with Davey how past trauma showed up in their relationship, how they helped each other through their story, and why shame needs to be healed.
This episode is a powerful reminder that our past hurts are opportunities to serve and minister to others in their struggles and through it, we can all better see God's glory unfold.
Episode 249-Cultivating an Unoffendable Heart in Ministry with Joanna Weaver
If you've ever served others in ministry, you know how quickly you can go from a thriving, joy-filled season to one in which you become a target for criticism and betrayal. How do you protect your heart when the very people you are serving hurt it? How do you navigate the wounds inflicted upon you by the people of God?
As a pastor's wife, author Joanna Weaver knows all too well how deep the pain can cut from those she has served. Throughout her life-long service in women's ministry and alongside her husband in churches, she has experienced her fair share of hurt that came from people. It can be easy to wall off your heart, move away from relationship and choose to isolate. But, Joanna has found that even in those moments of relational wounding, God has important lessons to teach us in order to shape us more in the image of Christ. As we allow God to reveal parts of ourselves He longs to heal, we can grow in character and strengthen our faith to trust Him in all circumstances.
In this conversation, Davey and Joanna talk about how to handle the relational wounds and betrayals of ministry, how to not waste the pain from it, and why it is so important for leaders to seek healing for their hurt.
You don't have to be a leader in ministry to glean from Joanna's wise words. The truths she shares are universal for us all as we live in community and face offense of every kind.
Episode 248-Understanding Our Stories in the Shadow of Pain with Joan Kelley
How can we begin to process our stories after a life-altering loss? Where can hope be found in the midst of insufferable pain? How do we connect the dots and find God's hand in our lives when suffering overshadows?
For Joan Kelley, those were difficult questions to answer after losing her teenage son, Will, to cancer. Yet, she found healing through looking at her life and the ways God has shown up, even in her worst pain. By going back in her own story, she has since been able to help walk alongside others in theirs by offering a listening ear or spiritual direction. And she has used what pain has taught her to bring hope and healing to those she encounters. While Joan knows she doesn't have all the answers, her journey has brought incredible lessons of faith, endurance, and how God can be trusted even in our darkest seasons.
In this episode, Davey sits down to talk with Joan about how everyone can use their unique wirings to bring hope to the hurting, why we have to make the time for our grief, and how processing your own story is pivotal in whatever healing path you are on.
Whatever the loss, Joan's story reminds us that we can all get to the place in our grief where we can still dare to hope.
Episode 247-Hope and Healing after Post-Traumatic Stress with Fernando Arroyo
WARNING: This episode contains conversations about suicide ideation and may not be suitable for all listeners/viewers.
The statistics are staggering: twenty-two veterans die by suicide a day. After years of serving in the Army, Fernando Arroyo almost became one of those twenty-two when the pain of his experience in the military made him want to end his life.
Finding hope and healing in the aftermath of war and post-traumatic stress was no easy task. The transition from a life full of meaning and purpose as a Paratrooper in the Army into the civilian sector was difficult for Fernando. He went from having a tight knit community, a brotherhood, with a common mission into a life where he felt alone and without purpose. That pain began to build as he was reminded of his past and eventually, he found himself on his couch with a gun, ready to end his life when the Lord miraculously intervened. From there, he found restored hope once he began to be open and honest about his struggles. Through sharing his story and what he was walking through, a newfound purpose emerged as he found other veterans who needed understanding and help in their own journey. Now, Fernando serves veterans at Step Forward Academy, helping them through the transition from military to civilian life and has recently written a book chronicling his journey called, The Shadow of Death: From My Battles in Fallujah to the Battle for My Soul.
In this special Veteran's Day episode, Davey and Fernando talk about the difficulty for veterans to transition out of the military into the civilian world, the powerful impact that can come when we share our story, and the importance of community in our lives and our healing.
Whether you are a veteran or not, this conversation will help you walk with others through the most painful parts of their stories and encourage you in sharing your own.
Episode 246-Special Release: Trial Update Part 2 with Davey Blackburn
If you've been around here at Nothing is Wasted, you probably know the story of how we came to be as a ministry. It was after his own pain to purpose journey in which Davey Blackburn lost his wife, Amanda, and their unborn child in a tragic home invasion that God birthed this idea of a ministry that walked others through whatever pain they faced.
In this special two-part conversation, Davey sits down with Aubrey to discuss what the past few months have been like as the legal side of their journey came to a close with the trial and sentencing of the perpetrator of Amanda's murder.
For many, it may come as a surprise that this part of their story is just now happening, seven years after that fateful day that forever changed Davey's life. And yet, for the Blackburn's and Amanda's family, the significance of the number seven, a number that means completion in Scripture, is more than a mere coincidence. In spite of all the suffering they've endured, the timing is just another reminder that God has been with them every step of the way. And as this chapter in their journey comes to a close, a new one is beginning.
In Part 2 of this two-part episode, Davey shares walking through the sentencing of one of the accomplices in Amanda's case, how you never know the impact your response to your story may have on others, and the wrestlings that can come as we struggle to understand God's justice in our hurt.
Whether you've been following Davey's journey since the beginning or if you are new to the Nothing is Wasted family, this conversation will encourage you to press into the hard parts of your journey with God because His faithfulness will be revealed and redemption will come in the most unexpected of ways.
Episode 245- Special Release: Trial Update Part 1 with Davey Blackburn
If you've been around here at Nothing is Wasted, you probably know the story of how we came to be as a ministry. It was after his own pain to purpose journey in which Davey Blackburn lost his wife, Amanda, and their unborn child in a tragic home invasion that God birthed this idea of a ministry that walked others through whatever pain they faced.
In this special two-part conversation, Davey sits down with Aubrey to discuss what the past few months have been like as the legal side of their journey came to a close with the trial and sentencing of the perpetrator of Amanda's murder.
For many, it may come as a surprise that this part of their story is just now happening, seven years after that fateful day that forever changed Davey's life. And yet, for the Blackburn's and Amanda's family, the significance of the number seven, a number that means completion in Scripture, is more than a mere coincidence. In spite of all the suffering they've endured, the timing is just another reminder that God has been with them every step of the way. And as this chapter in their journey comes to a close, a new one is beginning.
In Part 1 of this two-part episode, Davey recounts what he encountered during the trial, how he learned to find closure outside of the courtroom, and the way the picture of his earthly father helped him deeply understand the posture of His heavenly one in the depths of his pain.
Whether you've been following Davey's journey since the beginning or if you are new to the Nothing is Wasted family, this episode will remind you that even in the complicated parts of our story, God is ever so near.
Episode 244- When Everything Changes with Kelli Campbell-Goodnow
There are moments in life where in an instant, everything changes. How do you choose joy when your whole life is blindsided by pain? How do you find hope when you don't even know what the next hour may bring?
For Kelli Campbell-Goodnow, she never imagined the turn her life would take one night in January 2016. As she went to sleep, her life was good with her loving husband, United States Marine CH-53 pilot Major Shawn Campbell and her four children that she homeschooled at their dream duty station in Hawaii. But when she awoke, she got the call that every military wife fears, there had been an accident. For five days, rescue workers searched for the wreckage of a two helicopter collision off the coast. Soon thereafter, the search ended and Shawn was among the twelve Marine lives lost.
Kelli would have to immediately step into a completely unknown life. She would pack up her home and move across the country to be with family. She would decide to put her kids in school instead of homeschooling. And she would remind herself that while everything around her was changing, God did not.
Davey and Kelli discuss why it is important to pay attention to the small details of our stories as they unfold, the daily act of surrender that grief requires of us, and the ways we can trust God even when our lives change completely.
Kelli's story will help you face whatever circumstances you are in with a determined perspective to see God in the midst of it.
Episode 243- Making Your History Your Ally Instead of Your Enemy with Blake Williams
Losing a spouse is devastating. Losing a spouse to suicide is full of layers of pain and questions. How do you even begin to wrap your mind around such a traumatic event and how do you walk your children through their pain? What do you do when a new tragedy stirs up your past wounds and hurts from your childhood?
Blake Williams has spent the last year navigating those questions and so many more after losing his wife, Hope, to suicide. Having wrestled with mental health issues and chronic pain, Hope took her life in the couple's home and Blake found himself in the middle of a story he had never imagined for himself or his five children. As he has started to heal and move forward, the pain was a reminder of some of the past lies that haunted him his whole life after being abandoned and rejected by his parents. Blake could have easily allowed the old scripts he so often felt in his life to become his reality, but instead, he decided to shift his perspective from that of a victim into a victor.
In this transparent conversation, Davey and Blake talk about the importance of not allowing our past to dictate our future, the paradigm shift that is necessary to keep us from going under from our hurt, and the value in learning to speak truth to the lies we are believing.
You'll be encouraged to look through a different lens when it comes to your history, no matter what you have experienced.
Episode 242- Growing Our Soul Through Loss with Jerry Sittser
There are some stories with such unfathomable pain that it can seem impossible to ever see a glimpse of redemption throughout them. When the depth of heartbreak is so great, how can you ever see the light of goodness again?
Jerry Sittser has walked a road of catastrophic loss that most of us cannot even imagine. In 1991, Jerry and his wife and children were hit head on by a drunk driver. In an instant, life as Jerry knew it was completely over as the wreck claimed the life of his wife, his young daughter, his mother and the wife and unborn child of the other driver. There in the complete wreckage of his life, Jerry slowly began to learn how the must excruciating of suffering can grow the soul in unimaginable ways. The lessons Jerry learned through his own grief have served as a healing balm to many through his groundbreaking book, A Grace Disguised. Recently revised for a 25th Anniversary edition, Jerry vulnerably shared how grief has not only changed him, but grown him in ways that only suffering can. Through his story, he recognizes how all griefs, whether comparable or not to his own, invite us to step in to a grace that transforms us.
In this episode, Davey talks with Jerry about how experience can and ultimately has to be, the catalyst for our growth, the tensions that exist in pain and suffering, and how to step into the questions that inevitably come from our greatest pain.
With a hard won wisdom, a theological richness, and a profound outlook, Jerry's insight will help you process any grief you've experienced through a completely new lens. This conversation is one you'll want to listen to more than once as you glean from the deep well of Jerry's experience and wisdom.
Episode 241 - Learning from Leadership Pain with Glenn Burris
With so much going against leaders today, how can one learn to push through the hardships and challenges and stay the course? How do you keep pressing on when discouragement, rejection, or wounds make you want to quit?
Glenn Burris has served his entire adult life in ministry. He has led churches and organizations through the ups and downs that inevitably come. He has suffered the wounds that can come from being out front. He knows how often the enemy will attempt to discourage or distract you as you answer the call God has for your life.
It was through his lifetime of service that the Lord taught him the value of humility and wholeness as he sought to lead others. With a pastoral heart, Glenn continues to guide and shepherd others with the hard won wisdom he has after seeing so much in ministries, organizations, and in life. Ultimately, Glenn has learned that circumstances can't dictate his outlook, but his trust in the Lord can.
In this episode, Davey gleans from the deep well of wisdom that Glenn shares about how to stay in ministry for the long haul, the importance to keep our eyes focused on the eternal, and how pain can be a teacher.
We are all leading in some capacity, whether in ministry, in the workplace or in our home. This conversation will equip you to keep going when life makes leading hard.