What do we do when we are a leader and our life as we know it unravels? How do we continue to lead in the depths of our pain?

For ministry leader, author, speaker and podcaster Toni Collier, she thought she was finally living her redemption story in her second marriage, only to watch her relationship crumble very quickly when she learned of continued betrayal within it. Immediately after getting some of the most devastating news of her life, she saw God's kindness in that she was just doors down from some of her best friends. It was this group of women, some of the members of her confessional community and the constant reminders of God's with-ness, what she calls "God Winks," that sustained her through a very public divorce and all that followed. As she walked through the heartache of losing the marriage that she thought was an answer to her past pain, she learned how to lead in the midst of her greatest hurts. By sharing vulnerably her story and what she was dealing with in real time, she offered others the freedom to speak out and share their own suffering. She continues to offer women the opportunity to find healing through her ministry, Broken Crayons Still Color, and her podcast, Still Coloring.

In this honest and raw conversation with Davey, Toni shares what it looks like to lead through our pain, why we need to pay attention to God's goodness in our hurt, and how a confessional community can help us heal.

If you're a leader walking through the unexpected and wondering how you can keep going in the middle of it, this episode will serve as a reminder that even in our brokenness, God can use our lives to color a beautiful picture of His grace and redemption in life for others.

What do you do when your past keeps showing up in your present? How do you address the pain from childhood as it presents itself in your adult life?

For Dr. Mark McNear, a childhood of every kind of abuse and trauma left him completely broken. From sexual abuse as a small boy and the harsh emotional abuse of his father to several traumatic events of violence and being hit by a drunk driver, Mark's entire life was marked by extreme pain. The wounds o f his past begin to manifest in his adult life through addiction, anxiety and depression. As a therapist, Mark had helped walk others through their pain and yet he needed to receive the same care he so often gave away. It was through the gentle compassion of his wife and others and the grace of God that Mark began the difficult journey towards healing. Mark would go on to share his personal journey to help others in theirs in his book, Finding My Words, A Ruthless Commitment To Healing Gently After Trauma.

In this vulnerable conversation, Eric and Mark discuss how to love people well in the midst of their addiction, finding hope in the process of healing, and seeing God's grace move when you are struggling with the grips of shame.

If healing has been a difficult journey and one that feels incomplete, this episode will show you that while you may not be instantaneously "fixed" this side of heaven, you can experience the richness of God's love and mercy in every new day through His gentle process of tending to your wounds.

WARNING: This episode contains conversations about suicide and suicide ideation and may not be suitable for all listeners/viewers.

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are? Have you ever taken the time to deep dive into the stories and scripts that keep you moving in the same cycles you wish you could break free from?

Author and therapist Kobe Campbell began her journey towards understanding how trauma was impacting her and how God wanted to invite her into healing after she attempted suicide in college. God revealed Himself in a very direct way in the midst of her attempt through a friend and since that moment, she has been on a journey towards her own continued healing and in turn, helping others heal. As a therapist, Kobe has seen the power in getting curious in a person's story and learning to pay attention to our pain and how it affects our current behaviors. In her new book, Why Am I Like This?: How to Break Cycles, Heal From Trauma, and Restore Your Faith, Kobe helps readers see how our past shapes our present and how to get at the roots of dysfunctional patterns.

In this profound conversation, Davey sits down with Kobe as she shares her insight and wisdom on the importance of leading with curiosity when it comes to our stories, what to do when triggers happen, and the ways in which trauma can skew our perspectives and identity.

This episode is for anyone who has ever wanted to break free from cycles of unhealthy behavior or to better understand why they do what they do and who desire to experience the depths of healing that God wants to offer us in our pain.

Have you ever felt like you've just gotten to a good place in life only to have it completely unravel unexpectedly? What do you do when you had finally reached a mountaintop and then find yourself in the deepest valley?

Danita Jenae knows all to well how life can be looking up only to seemingly fall apart in a moment. After struggling with chronic health issues and finally finding some relief, her world was forever changed when her husband passed away. New to town, without a community and just before the world changed for everyone with the pandemic, Danita didn't even have the resources she needed to make it through such a devastating loss. But God was gracious and even in the isolation, the loneliness, and the doubts, He proved Himself faithful in Danita's story.

Davey and Danita both know the pain of losing a spouse and how it can forever change your life. In this conversation, they talk about what to do in the silence and doubt after loss, why lament is so imperative for finding our way through grief, and how to help kids through grief when we don't know what to do.

Whether you've seen mountains crumble around you or not, this episode is a reminder that in our greatest pain, God is still making a way for us.

How do we create safe environments for our children when it comes to emotions? How do we allow those within our home to feel like they can share their feelings and find healing when there is disconnection?

Dr. Josh and Christi Straub have been on a mission to teach families what emotional health looks like and how to prioritize it in the home. Having worked with many ministry and business leaders who have experienced moral failures, they have seen first hand how emotional unhealth can destroy a family. It is why they started Famous At Home, to provide resources and coaching to families struggling with how to deal with emotions. Their work has led them to help families through books, their podcast and coaching not only name what they are feeling, but know how to navigate the uncomfortable emotions. It was also through their own personal story that they learned what can truly help in the emotional chaos of life. When Christi found herself on what she describes as "the bottom rung of life" after difficult pregnancies and exhaustion from parenthood, Josh and Christi leaned into the pain and found a way through. It wasn't just one thing, but a plethora of practices, communication and support that led them through that season.

In this conversation, Davey, Josh and Christi talk about why we need to be known in order to be emotionally healthy, what are kids need most (and it's not perfection!), and how to get curious about our emotional responses in order to gain insight into what is truly happening within us.

Families need to know how to talk about and handle the different emotions that come on ordinary days and in the days when facing a trauma or crisis. This episode will give you the tools to start the conversations that will lead to greater freedom and healing in your home.

Boundaries can feel impossible sometimes, especially if you have lived your life without them. How do you begin to draw the line when it comes to what you are willing to accept in a relationship? How do you know when it is beyond the point of healing and time to let go of a toxic relationship?

Author, speaker and Bible teacher Lysa TerKeurst never dreamed that her life would look the way it does now. After finding out about her husband's infidelity, Lysa was committed to healing and restoration of her marriage. But as time went by, Lysa endured the most difficult season of her life and had to face the most difficult decision. Ultimately, her marriage ended and she was left to pick up the pieces. As she has walked the journey of healing, she has begun to see how her own inability to set boundaries contributed to the chaos in her relationship.

In this episode, Lysa talks to Aubrey about how boundaries are not just a good thing but also a God thing, how to determine the amount of access someone should have in our lives and why boundaries can keep the best of who we are front and center.

If you find yourself putting clear boundaries up, especially in relationships that need them most, this conversation will give you the courage to live in a way that will help you and those you love flourish.

How can we look at our lives and see God's faithfulness throughout the knots of disappointment, betrayal, criticism or abuse? How can we trust the goodness of God when so much has gone wrong in our lives?

For Bible teacher and author Beth Moore, her life has been a series of knots. From being sexually abused as a child to extreme criticism from those who proclaim Christ, Beth's life has been full of pain to untangle. But with every difficulty, every pain, Beth has seen her desperate need for Jesus even more. It has been through the twists and turns of life that she has come to realize that no person and no set of circumstances can satisfy like the love of Jesus. Openly and honestly, Beth has journeyed this path with the Lord for a lifetime to find that He is worth every step of it.

In this profound conversation, Beth talks with Davey and Aubrey about how the crucible of life can bring about a fountain of deep passion for the Lord, the only way to endure criticism as a leader, and how our crushing can lead to more of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

If you need encouragement from a seasoned believer to finish your race well in the midst of all that you are facing, this episode will give you the strength to keep fighting the good fight of faith.

What happens when we start to share our story of pain and loss? How can retelling what we've walked through help us in healing?

For Jonathan Pitts, sharing the story of how he lost his wife, Wynter, has been a part of the process God has used to heal his greatest loss. In 2018, life was going well for Jonathan and his family. With an exciting upcoming move to the Nashville area and a new position as a pastor, Jonathan, Wynter and their four girls were excited about what was ahead. But within moments, their lives took a tragic turn that none of them could have imagined when Wynter died suddenly from a heart related issue. Just like that, Jonathan and his girls were on a new trajectory in their lives as they continued on with the move and began a completely new life without Wynter.

In this episode, Davey and Jonathan talk about how so much of our healing can come as we share parts of our story, the importance of having permission to feel what we feel, and ways we can combat shame in our grief.

Life has taken unexpected turns for the Pitts family as Jonathan has now remarried and pivoted in his professional life, but this conversation is a reminder that as much as life can change in an instant, God remains the same.

Sometimes, we can try to cover up our past pain with that which we can control—achievement, performance, productivity. But at some point, those coping mechanisms cannot mask the hurt we are feeling deep inside anymore. What do you do when what you've done to run from your past no longer works to hide what you're truly feeling?

For Dr. Elizabeth (Ellie) Stevens, there came a point when what she did to keep the pain from her childhood sexual abuse at bay, no longer worked. She found that she could no longer hide behind performance and her achievements and instead had to face what was below the surface. It took another string of traumas including a sexual assault and traumatic brain injury to bring up the ache she had been ignoring, but when she did, she found that God invited her towards something new— freedom. Even when her poor decisions heaped shame on top of all she was enduring, she was able to start to experience the depth of God's love in the middle of the mess of emotions she was enduring. Now, as a psychiatrist, trauma survivor and veteran, Dr. Stevens has taken what she has learned in her own journey to help veterans and first responders in theirs.

In this conversation, Davey talks with Dr. Stevens about how we often use achievement and performance to cope with our past, the power of God shown through our weakness, and how trauma can help us move from conditional to unconditional love.

If you find yourself trying to hide your past pain through achievement and performance and you are ready to experience the freedom God has for you, this episode will encourage you that God wants to release you from that which threatens to hold you back from

Parenting is complicated whichever way you come into it. When grief and trauma are part of the equation, it can add even more layers to navigate. How do you sit in the messiness of adoption and fostering while learning to see the joys and the wins in the midst of it?

For Jillana Goble, it has been through the challenges of parenting via birth, foster care, and adoption that she has learned to welcome the invitations the Lord offers in the tensions of it all. As she said yes to the difficulties and joys, she has seen her own understanding of God and family widen in an unimaginable way. She has learned that parenting of any kind does not come with a road map or a formula with a promise, but rather it is the small, daily obediences to say yes to loving our children well in all circumstances. It is there that we begin to see God show up in places that were once thought to be irrevocably broken.

In this conversation, Davey sits down with Jillana to discuss the often complicated nature of adoption and fostering that we don't always see as well as how understanding how integrated we are-mind, body and soul-can help us love kids who have gone through unfathomable loss and trauma and how in it all, Jesus shows up in the mess.

Whether you have adopted or fostered or know someone who has, this episode will help you see that God invites us to know Him more through the imperfect and often difficult stories we all walk through.

Perhaps one of the greatest questions that comes after trauma or tragedy is how do we help our kids navigate pain? What do we as parents need to look for after loss or in the everyday struggles that kids are facing? When do we need to bring in an expert to help and what can we do in the in between?

David Thomas knows all too well the questions that emerge when families encounter crisis and the everyday difficulties plaguing our children. As a licensed counselor at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, TN, he has met with hundreds of kids and has walked with them through all sorts of challenges from trauma, grief and loss to anxiety and depression. What he has noticed in his clinical experience is that above all else, kids need parents willing to do the same emotional work of healing that they are wanting for their children. When we as parents start to look at our own stories, we can better help our children through theirs.

In this practical and timely conversation, Davey sits down with David to discuss why we need to do our own work as parents, the importance of following our child's lead after pain, understanding behavior as communication as well as how to help kids navigate anxiety and technology.

If you are struggling to know what to do with the pain or challenges your child is experiencing, this episode is full of helpful wisdom to help you parent well in the midst of it.

So often, we tend to think very little about our story and how our past impacts our present. But, what if the key to healing the wounds we are experiencing now is inextricably tied to engaging our whole story including our past?

For professional counselor and podcaster Adam Young, it was when he began to engage his story, the wounds of his past and his family of origin, that he started to see the ways in which God wanted to meet him in his pain. This idea of not just dealing with the symptoms of past wounds, but looking at the arc of our lives became the most important tool Adam had in his private practice with others who were wanting to heal from the past. It also connected perfectly with what we know to be true about the human brain and how it makes sense of the things that have happened to us.

In this deeply profound conversation, Davey and Adam talk about why it is so important to engage our stories, the difference between trauma and adversity, how to handle people who have wounded us, and how this work can lead to healing and health in our relationships, including our closest ones like in our marriage.

If you've ever wondered how to connect the dots between your earliest memories and what you are experiencing now, this episode is full of insightful wisdom on how to step into your story with compassion and curiosity.

How do you prepare yourself for loss? What do you do in the days before your world encounters a seismic shift? Can you ever truly be ready to face your greatest pain?

For Melissa Swain, nothing could fully prepare her for the unexpected loss of her husband, Chris, in 2021 but in the days long before such a tragic grief, she had made the decision to trust God no matter what. Just a few years before in 2019, her family faced the unexpected death of her brother, Aaron. In a way, the Lord used that difficult time to prepare her heart for more grief she would walk through as a widow. As Melissa wrestled through the pain of losing her sibling and then her husband, she was faced with more unexpected circumstances when the fate of her husband's almost finished manuscript laid in the hands of his publisher. Was she the one to take his work and bring it across the finish line? She did and the book they completed unexpectedly together called "Write it On Their Hearts: Practical Help for Discipling Your Kids" was not only a way to keep her connected to Chris after his death, but it also served as a means for him to continue to love and parent his children in the days that followed while helping other families as well.

In this candid conversation, Davey talks with Melissa about what it looks like to grieve well, why our pre-decisions about God are so important when it comes to preparing us for pain, and how to wait on God when you aren't sure what is next.

If you've ever wondered how you could prepare your heart for the suffering that inevitably comes this side of heaven, Melissa's hard-won wisdom will encourage you to decide who you think God is before you ever get that phone call that changes everything.

We all come into marriage with our past hurts and hangups. How do you begin to untangle the knots from your previous life and start to build a new, healthy one together? What do you do when shame seems to overshadow everything within your relationship?

For Quinton and Tameca Graham, it took a lot of open communication and grace from God in order to heal their hearts individually and together in their marriage. Tameca's past of being a teen mom in a single-parent home plus the trauma she endured made it hard to feel worthy for the love of Quinton. Quinton, a pastor who had his own story of heartbreak, wasn't quick to give up and stepped into the difficulties in order to have a thriving marriage.

Together, their own stories plus their one together have become a ministry to other couples struggling to learn how to walk through past trauma into the freedom and joy God has for them. In this conversation, Quinton and Tameca share with Davey how past trauma showed up in their relationship, how they helped each other through their story, and why shame needs to be healed.

This episode is a powerful reminder that our past hurts are opportunities to serve and minister to others in their struggles and through it, we can all better see God's glory unfold.

How can we begin to process our stories after a life-altering loss? Where can hope be found in the midst of insufferable pain? How do we connect the dots and find God's hand in our lives when suffering overshadows?

For Joan Kelley, those were difficult questions to answer after losing her teenage son, Will, to cancer. Yet, she found healing through looking at her life and the ways God has shown up, even in her worst pain. By going back in her own story, she has since been able to help walk alongside others in theirs by offering a listening ear or spiritual direction. And she has used what pain has taught her to bring hope and healing to those she encounters. While Joan knows she doesn't have all the answers, her journey has brought incredible lessons of faith, endurance, and how God can be trusted even in our darkest seasons.

In this episode, Davey sits down to talk with Joan about how everyone can use their unique wirings to bring hope to the hurting, why we have to make the time for our grief, and how processing your own story is pivotal in whatever healing path you are on.

Whatever the loss, Joan's story reminds us that we can all get to the place in our grief where we can still dare to hope.

WARNING: This episode contains conversations about suicide ideation and may not be suitable for all listeners/viewers.

The statistics are staggering: twenty-two veterans die by suicide a day. After years of serving in the Army, Fernando Arroyo almost became one of those twenty-two when the pain of his experience in the military made him want to end his life.

Finding hope and healing in the aftermath of war and post-traumatic stress was no easy task. The transition from a life full of meaning and purpose as a Paratrooper in the Army into the civilian sector was difficult for Fernando. He went from having a tight knit community, a brotherhood, with a common mission into a life where he felt alone and without purpose. That pain began to build as he was reminded of his past and eventually, he found himself on his couch with a gun, ready to end his life when the Lord miraculously intervened. From there, he found restored hope once he began to be open and honest about his struggles. Through sharing his story and what he was walking through, a newfound purpose emerged as he found other veterans who needed understanding and help in their own journey. Now, Fernando serves veterans at Step Forward Academy, helping them through the transition from military to civilian life and has recently written a book chronicling his journey called, The Shadow of Death: From My Battles in Fallujah to the Battle for My Soul.

In this special Veteran's Day episode, Davey and Fernando talk about the difficulty for veterans to transition out of the military into the civilian world, the powerful impact that can come when we share our story, and the importance of community in our lives and our healing.

Whether you are a veteran or not, this conversation will help you walk with others through the most painful parts of their stories and encourage you in sharing your own.

If you've been around here at Nothing is Wasted, you probably know the story of how we came to be as a ministry. It was after his own pain to purpose journey in which Davey Blackburn lost his wife, Amanda, and their unborn child in a tragic home invasion that God birthed this idea of a ministry that walked others through whatever pain they faced.

In this special two-part conversation, Davey sits down with Aubrey to discuss what the past few months have been like as the legal side of their journey came to a close with the trial and sentencing of the perpetrator of Amanda's murder.

For many, it may come as a surprise that this part of their story is just now happening, seven years after that fateful day that forever changed Davey's life. And yet, for the Blackburn's and Amanda's family, the significance of the number seven, a number that means completion in Scripture, is more than a mere coincidence. In spite of all the suffering they've endured, the timing is just another reminder that God has been with them every step of the way. And as this chapter in their journey comes to a close, a new one is beginning.

In Part 2 of this two-part episode, Davey shares walking through the sentencing of one of the accomplices in Amanda's case, how you never know the impact your response to your story may have on others, and the wrestlings that can come as we struggle to understand God's justice in our hurt.

Whether you've been following Davey's journey since the beginning or if you are new to the Nothing is Wasted family, this conversation will encourage you to press into the hard parts of your journey with God because His faithfulness will be revealed and redemption will come in the most unexpected of ways.

If you've been around here at Nothing is Wasted, you probably know the story of how we came to be as a ministry. It was after his own pain to purpose journey in which Davey Blackburn lost his wife, Amanda, and their unborn child in a tragic home invasion that God birthed this idea of a ministry that walked others through whatever pain they faced.

In this special two-part conversation, Davey sits down with Aubrey to discuss what the past few months have been like as the legal side of their journey came to a close with the trial and sentencing of the perpetrator of Amanda's murder.

For many, it may come as a surprise that this part of their story is just now happening, seven years after that fateful day that forever changed Davey's life. And yet, for the Blackburn's and Amanda's family, the significance of the number seven, a number that means completion in Scripture, is more than a mere coincidence. In spite of all the suffering they've endured, the timing is just another reminder that God has been with them every step of the way. And as this chapter in their journey comes to a close, a new one is beginning.

In Part 1 of this two-part episode, Davey recounts what he encountered during the trial, how he learned to find closure outside of the courtroom, and the way the picture of his earthly father helped him deeply understand the posture of His heavenly one in the depths of his pain.

Whether you've been following Davey's journey since the beginning or if you are new to the Nothing is Wasted family, this episode will remind you that even in the complicated parts of our story, God is ever so near.

There are moments in life where in an instant, everything changes. How do you choose joy when your whole life is blindsided by pain? How do you find hope when you don't even know what the next hour may bring?

For Kelli Campbell-Goodnow, she never imagined the turn her life would take one night in January 2016. As she went to sleep, her life was good with her loving husband, United States Marine CH-53 pilot Major Shawn Campbell and her four children that she homeschooled at their dream duty station in Hawaii. But when she awoke, she got the call that every military wife fears, there had been an accident. For five days, rescue workers searched for the wreckage of a two helicopter collision off the coast. Soon thereafter, the search ended and Shawn was among the twelve Marine lives lost.

Kelli would have to immediately step into a completely unknown life. She would pack up her home and move across the country to be with family. She would decide to put her kids in school instead of homeschooling. And she would remind herself that while everything around her was changing, God did not.

Davey and Kelli discuss why it is important to pay attention to the small details of our stories as they unfold, the daily act of surrender that grief requires of us, and the ways we can trust God even when our lives change completely.

Kelli's story will help you face whatever circumstances you are in with a determined perspective to see God in the midst of it.

Losing a spouse is devastating. Losing a spouse to suicide is full of layers of pain and questions. How do you even begin to wrap your mind around such a traumatic event and how do you walk your children through their pain? What do you do when a new tragedy stirs up your past wounds and hurts from your childhood?

Blake Williams has spent the last year navigating those questions and so many more after losing his wife, Hope, to suicide. Having wrestled with mental health issues and chronic pain, Hope took her life in the couple's home and Blake found himself in the middle of a story he had never imagined for himself or his five children. As he has started to heal and move forward, the pain was a reminder of some of the past lies that haunted him his whole life after being abandoned and rejected by his parents. Blake could have easily allowed the old scripts he so often felt in his life to become his reality, but instead, he decided to shift his perspective from that of a victim into a victor.

In this transparent conversation, Davey and Blake talk about the importance of not allowing our past to dictate our future, the paradigm shift that is necessary to keep us from going under from our hurt, and the value in learning to speak truth to the lies we are believing.

You'll be encouraged to look through a different lens when it comes to your history, no matter what you have experienced.