Sometimes, we can try to cover up our past pain with that which we can control—achievement, performance, productivity. But at some point, those coping mechanisms cannot mask the hurt we are feeling deep inside anymore. What do you do when what you've done to run from your past no longer works to hide what you're truly feeling?

For Dr. Elizabeth (Ellie) Stevens, there came a point when what she did to keep the pain from her childhood sexual abuse at bay, no longer worked. She found that she could no longer hide behind performance and her achievements and instead had to face what was below the surface. It took another string of traumas including a sexual assault and traumatic brain injury to bring up the ache she had been ignoring, but when she did, she found that God invited her towards something new— freedom. Even when her poor decisions heaped shame on top of all she was enduring, she was able to start to experience the depth of God's love in the middle of the mess of emotions she was enduring. Now, as a psychiatrist, trauma survivor and veteran, Dr. Stevens has taken what she has learned in her own journey to help veterans and first responders in theirs.

In this conversation, Davey talks with Dr. Stevens about how we often use achievement and performance to cope with our past, the power of God shown through our weakness, and how trauma can help us move from conditional to unconditional love.

If you find yourself trying to hide your past pain through achievement and performance and you are ready to experience the freedom God has for you, this episode will encourage you that God wants to release you from that which threatens to hold you back from

WARNING: This episode contains conversations about suicide ideation and may not be suitable for all listeners/viewers.

The statistics are staggering: twenty-two veterans die by suicide a day. After years of serving in the Army, Fernando Arroyo almost became one of those twenty-two when the pain of his experience in the military made him want to end his life.

Finding hope and healing in the aftermath of war and post-traumatic stress was no easy task. The transition from a life full of meaning and purpose as a Paratrooper in the Army into the civilian sector was difficult for Fernando. He went from having a tight knit community, a brotherhood, with a common mission into a life where he felt alone and without purpose. That pain began to build as he was reminded of his past and eventually, he found himself on his couch with a gun, ready to end his life when the Lord miraculously intervened. From there, he found restored hope once he began to be open and honest about his struggles. Through sharing his story and what he was walking through, a newfound purpose emerged as he found other veterans who needed understanding and help in their own journey. Now, Fernando serves veterans at Step Forward Academy, helping them through the transition from military to civilian life and has recently written a book chronicling his journey called, The Shadow of Death: From My Battles in Fallujah to the Battle for My Soul.

In this special Veteran's Day episode, Davey and Fernando talk about the difficulty for veterans to transition out of the military into the civilian world, the powerful impact that can come when we share our story, and the importance of community in our lives and our healing.

Whether you are a veteran or not, this conversation will help you walk with others through the most painful parts of their stories and encourage you in sharing your own.

What happens when you find yourself in the middle of a national tragedy, when your story is part of a collective one on every news outlet in the country? How do you find healing after a trauma played out on a national stage?

For Christina Stanton, that was a lifelong question that began on a fateful day in New York City on September 11, 2001. Running for her life after the Twin Towers attack left her facing the rubble well beyond that infamous day. Wrestling with the aftermath of PTSD and the devastation that came from surviving such a horrific scene, Christina was searching for answers and she found them within the walls of a local New York City church. Finding God in the midst of such wreckage and having the people of God bear witness to her pain while providing practical help brought her hope and revealed the power of the Church.

As if living through that national tragedy wasn't enough, Christina would find herself once again a part of a story that made national headlines when she contracted Covid-19 in early March 2020 and fought for her life in a hospital room, hundreds of miles from home. Living through two tragic marks in American history gave Christina a deeper understanding of who God is, even when we face the worst.

In this episode, Davey and Christina talk about the value of the Church witnessing the pain of others, what suffering teaches us and the importance of community in finding healing from post-traumatic stress.

Your suffering may not have been experienced on such a global scale, but you will find comfort and encouragement towards hope and healing in this conversation.