It's every parent's worst fear to lose a child. How do you continue to trust God when your experiencing unrelenting pain? The journey after such a tragic loss is never linear and it can be full of chaotic feelings and opposing emotions. Yet God offers us an invitation to meet Him in the messiness of grief.

For Esther Lee, that invitation was often on the cold, dirty hospital bathroom floor where she cried out to the Lord so many times during her young daughter, Ava's, cancer journey. And while her grief began there and continued on well after her devastating loss of sweet Ava, she has learned that the Lord graciously allows for the anger, the questions, the fears and the doubts in the messy middle of our suffering. Esther has walked a long road of first being a parent of a child with life-threatening allergies to later receiving a diagnosis that no parent wants to hear as well as the non-stop rollercoaster of doctors and hospital visits. And while her circumstances have felt impossible and her grief has been messy, God has met her in it all.

Her story doesn't tie up in a neat, tidy bow when it comes to her pain, but instead, it is honest and authentic, one that allows for the raw emotions she feels while leaving room for the truth of God's goodness and kindness as she grapples her way through every parent's greatest fear.

In this moving conversation, Davey sits down with Esther to talk about how vital community can be after experiencing loss, the true wrestlings that can come in regards to God's goodness in our pain, how purpose shows up in small ways, and learning to worship when it feels hard.

No matter your story, you will be able to relate to Esther's wrestlings in the messiness of heartbreak and pain and find comfort in knowing that we serve a God who is not alarmed by it when we do.

It can be so hard to see, let alone accept the hand of God in the middle of our deepest pain. How can you learn to trust God's sovereignty in your darkest moments?

For Greg and Cathy Buffkin, that was no small feat. After losing their adult son Ryan to suicide, it was difficult to accept their loss and find the strength to move forward after so much pain.

Living every parent's greatest fear, the Buffkins found themselves wrestling with difficult emotions and yet, managed to find the Lord in the most heart wrenching loss they had ever endured.

From their pain, they have a new found purpose as they've sought to equip others as they navigate walking alongside someone who has lost a child.

In this episode, Davey sits down with Greg and Cathy to talk about what it looks like to experience God's sovereignty in grief, the best ways to support someone who has lost a child, and the difference between healthy and unhealthy ways of healing after loss.

Grief is an inevitable part of our lives this side of heaven, which is why this conversation is so important for all of us as we come face to face with pains we never imagined.

Whether or not you've endured the loss of a child, this episode will give you important insight into what it means to choose healing when grief threatens to overwhelm.