Warning: This episode discusses loss by suicide and may not be suitable for all listeners.

How do you learn to feel the pain instead of just filling it? What does surrender look like when we've entered a story that we never imagined for ourselves?

On this first ever live Nothing is Wasted podcast episode from the Nothing is Wasted Book Launch event, Davey and Kristi Blackburn are joined by Daniel and Brittany Brooker to discuss the messy road of healing and redemption. The Brookers know pain--having both lost a spouse at a young age while parenting small children. Their process towards healing and hope and finding one another along the way has been full of incredible joy and difficult heartaches. Finding friendship with the Blackburns, another couple who understands the impact of trauma on a marriage and children and who are also blending together a family, has been a gift in the journey of grief, loss, and redemption.

In this conversation, the Blackburns and the Brookers discuss why we have to feel our pain and not just fill it, the importance of surrender in our deepest valleys, and how God gives us people along the way that can be a part of his healing plan for us.

If you've ever struggled to allow yourself the opportunity to really feel the emotions that come from a loss or your unique path of suffering, this episode will help you to realize that healing cannot happen until you admit there is hurt and allow God to meet you in the messy middle of it.

What happens when we attempt to selectively numb our pain? How does a season in the wilderness of suffering transform us if we allow it?

Dr. John Walker has been a guiding voice and encouragement to countless pastors who find themselves in the throes of trauma, tragedy or burnout. He has offered a safe landing place for those who are tasked with shepherding others through the organization he founded called Blessings Ranch, a counseling and coaching ministry to help leaders live, lead, and finish well. For Davey, Dr. Walker was a vital voice on his healing journey, offering him a lifeline in the traumatic aftermath of losing his wife, Amanda.

In this very meaningful conversation, Davey gets to sit down with the very counselor who helped guide him on a path of healing and transformation after the immense pain and suffering he endured. They talk about the coping mechanisms we often look to after sorrow, why self-care is so important for our emotional and spiritual health, and how transformation happens.

If you've ever found yourself trying to ignore the pain you're feeling, this episode will convince you that going around it isn't an option, but if you choose to go through it, you will not only find healing on the other side but joy and life again as well.

Have you ever faced the loss of a loved one and wondered what life was like on the other side of death? We all have seen heaven depicted in movies and literature, but what can we really expect based on Scripture?

For author and speaker Randy Alcorn, it was the work he did in writing his bestselling book, Heaven, that gave him peace after losing his wife, Nanci, to cancer. Knowing the truth about what life was like for Nanci after death, comforted Randy in his own suffering and grief. While we've all been told a lot of different things when it comes to heaven, knowing what the Bible says and anticipating the joy and peace that is to come is the only way through the unending pain we face. And if our eyes remain on this earth, we will continue to see the temporary heartache instead of the eternal joy that is to come.

In this conversation, Davey talks with Randy about the question everyone who has faced the loss of a loved one has wondered: what can we expect when it comes to heaven? They discuss why we need a heaven focus in our suffering, what we actually know (and what we don't) when it comes to heaven, and why our theology matters in our thinking about life beyond what we see.

If you've ever asked the question: what is heaven like?, this episode will begin to answer that question and more importantly, lift your eyes from your suffering and upward into what is beyond this broken, pain-filled earthly existence.

How do you continue on in faith when pain and tragedy seems to plague your life? How can you keep going towards healing and wholeness when heartache relentlessly comes into your life?

Those were the questions Rachel Faulkner Brown had to wrestle with after losing not one, but two husbands: one in an unexpected medical trauma and the other in a military plane crash. As a young widow twice, Rachel knew what it meant to experience pain, but learning to experience God's comfort took some time. It took her truly understanding God's abundant love for her, even when her circumstances felt quite the opposite. Since experiencing those losses, she has since remarried again and has walked with her husband through depression and anxiety and started a ministry for widows, encouraging them to hope in their pain to purpose journey. Through it all, Rachel has found a rich faith that is rooted in trusting Jesus in every season of life. While it has never been easy, it has been what has carried her through the valleys she has encountered.

In this episode, Davey sits down with Rachel to discuss the importance of knowing our identity and God's love for us before we can ever begin to heal, how our worship can become a weapon against the enemy, and the power of encountering God's comfort in our pain.

Chances are you haven't experienced the level of loss and pain that Rachel has, but this conversation will spur you on in your journey towards faith and hope in whatever hurt you are enduring.

Have you ever felt like you've just gotten to a good place in life only to have it completely unravel unexpectedly? What do you do when you had finally reached a mountaintop and then find yourself in the deepest valley?

Danita Jenae knows all to well how life can be looking up only to seemingly fall apart in a moment. After struggling with chronic health issues and finally finding some relief, her world was forever changed when her husband passed away. New to town, without a community and just before the world changed for everyone with the pandemic, Danita didn't even have the resources she needed to make it through such a devastating loss. But God was gracious and even in the isolation, the loneliness, and the doubts, He proved Himself faithful in Danita's story.

Davey and Danita both know the pain of losing a spouse and how it can forever change your life. In this conversation, they talk about what to do in the silence and doubt after loss, why lament is so imperative for finding our way through grief, and how to help kids through grief when we don't know what to do.

Whether you've seen mountains crumble around you or not, this episode is a reminder that in our greatest pain, God is still making a way for us.

What happens when we start to share our story of pain and loss? How can retelling what we've walked through help us in healing?

For Jonathan Pitts, sharing the story of how he lost his wife, Wynter, has been a part of the process God has used to heal his greatest loss. In 2018, life was going well for Jonathan and his family. With an exciting upcoming move to the Nashville area and a new position as a pastor, Jonathan, Wynter and their four girls were excited about what was ahead. But within moments, their lives took a tragic turn that none of them could have imagined when Wynter died suddenly from a heart related issue. Just like that, Jonathan and his girls were on a new trajectory in their lives as they continued on with the move and began a completely new life without Wynter.

In this episode, Davey and Jonathan talk about how so much of our healing can come as we share parts of our story, the importance of having permission to feel what we feel, and ways we can combat shame in our grief.

Life has taken unexpected turns for the Pitts family as Jonathan has now remarried and pivoted in his professional life, but this conversation is a reminder that as much as life can change in an instant, God remains the same.

If you've been around here at Nothing is Wasted, you probably know the story of how we came to be as a ministry. It was after his own pain to purpose journey in which Davey Blackburn lost his wife, Amanda, and their unborn child in a tragic home invasion that God birthed this idea of a ministry that walked others through whatever pain they faced.

In this special two-part conversation, Davey sits down with Aubrey to discuss what the past few months have been like as the legal side of their journey came to a close with the trial and sentencing of the perpetrator of Amanda's murder.

For many, it may come as a surprise that this part of their story is just now happening, seven years after that fateful day that forever changed Davey's life. And yet, for the Blackburn's and Amanda's family, the significance of the number seven, a number that means completion in Scripture, is more than a mere coincidence. In spite of all the suffering they've endured, the timing is just another reminder that God has been with them every step of the way. And as this chapter in their journey comes to a close, a new one is beginning.

In Part 2 of this two-part episode, Davey shares walking through the sentencing of one of the accomplices in Amanda's case, how you never know the impact your response to your story may have on others, and the wrestlings that can come as we struggle to understand God's justice in our hurt.

Whether you've been following Davey's journey since the beginning or if you are new to the Nothing is Wasted family, this conversation will encourage you to press into the hard parts of your journey with God because His faithfulness will be revealed and redemption will come in the most unexpected of ways.

If you've been around here at Nothing is Wasted, you probably know the story of how we came to be as a ministry. It was after his own pain to purpose journey in which Davey Blackburn lost his wife, Amanda, and their unborn child in a tragic home invasion that God birthed this idea of a ministry that walked others through whatever pain they faced.

In this special two-part conversation, Davey sits down with Aubrey to discuss what the past few months have been like as the legal side of their journey came to a close with the trial and sentencing of the perpetrator of Amanda's murder.

For many, it may come as a surprise that this part of their story is just now happening, seven years after that fateful day that forever changed Davey's life. And yet, for the Blackburn's and Amanda's family, the significance of the number seven, a number that means completion in Scripture, is more than a mere coincidence. In spite of all the suffering they've endured, the timing is just another reminder that God has been with them every step of the way. And as this chapter in their journey comes to a close, a new one is beginning.

In Part 1 of this two-part episode, Davey recounts what he encountered during the trial, how he learned to find closure outside of the courtroom, and the way the picture of his earthly father helped him deeply understand the posture of His heavenly one in the depths of his pain.

Whether you've been following Davey's journey since the beginning or if you are new to the Nothing is Wasted family, this episode will remind you that even in the complicated parts of our story, God is ever so near.

There are moments in life where in an instant, everything changes. How do you choose joy when your whole life is blindsided by pain? How do you find hope when you don't even know what the next hour may bring?

For Kelli Campbell-Goodnow, she never imagined the turn her life would take one night in January 2016. As she went to sleep, her life was good with her loving husband, United States Marine CH-53 pilot Major Shawn Campbell and her four children that she homeschooled at their dream duty station in Hawaii. But when she awoke, she got the call that every military wife fears, there had been an accident. For five days, rescue workers searched for the wreckage of a two helicopter collision off the coast. Soon thereafter, the search ended and Shawn was among the twelve Marine lives lost.

Kelli would have to immediately step into a completely unknown life. She would pack up her home and move across the country to be with family. She would decide to put her kids in school instead of homeschooling. And she would remind herself that while everything around her was changing, God did not.

Davey and Kelli discuss why it is important to pay attention to the small details of our stories as they unfold, the daily act of surrender that grief requires of us, and the ways we can trust God even when our lives change completely.

Kelli's story will help you face whatever circumstances you are in with a determined perspective to see God in the midst of it.

Losing a spouse is devastating. Losing a spouse to suicide is full of layers of pain and questions. How do you even begin to wrap your mind around such a traumatic event and how do you walk your children through their pain? What do you do when a new tragedy stirs up your past wounds and hurts from your childhood?

Blake Williams has spent the last year navigating those questions and so many more after losing his wife, Hope, to suicide. Having wrestled with mental health issues and chronic pain, Hope took her life in the couple's home and Blake found himself in the middle of a story he had never imagined for himself or his five children. As he has started to heal and move forward, the pain was a reminder of some of the past lies that haunted him his whole life after being abandoned and rejected by his parents. Blake could have easily allowed the old scripts he so often felt in his life to become his reality, but instead, he decided to shift his perspective from that of a victim into a victor.

In this transparent conversation, Davey and Blake talk about the importance of not allowing our past to dictate our future, the paradigm shift that is necessary to keep us from going under from our hurt, and the value in learning to speak truth to the lies we are believing.

You'll be encouraged to look through a different lens when it comes to your history, no matter what you have experienced.

There are some stories with such unfathomable pain that it can seem impossible to ever see a glimpse of redemption throughout them. When the depth of heartbreak is so great, how can you ever see the light of goodness again?

Jerry Sittser has walked a road of catastrophic loss that most of us cannot even imagine. In 1991, Jerry and his wife and children were hit head on by a drunk driver. In an instant, life as Jerry knew it was completely over as the wreck claimed the life of his wife, his young daughter, his mother and the wife and unborn child of the other driver. There in the complete wreckage of his life, Jerry slowly began to learn how the must excruciating of suffering can grow the soul in unimaginable ways. The lessons Jerry learned through his own grief have served as a healing balm to many through his groundbreaking book, A Grace Disguised. Recently revised for a 25th Anniversary edition, Jerry vulnerably shared how grief has not only changed him, but grown him in ways that only suffering can. Through his story, he recognizes how all griefs, whether comparable or not to his own, invite us to step in to a grace that transforms us.

In this episode, Davey talks with Jerry about how experience can and ultimately has to be, the catalyst for our growth, the tensions that exist in pain and suffering, and how to step into the questions that inevitably come from our greatest pain.

With a hard won wisdom, a theological richness, and a profound outlook, Jerry's insight will help you process any grief you've experienced through a completely new lens. This conversation is one you'll want to listen to more than once as you glean from the deep well of Jerry's experience and wisdom.

What do you do when you were living the life you always dreamed of and find it taken away in a matter of moments? How do you learn to trust God after a tragic loss? How can you forgive when a grave injustice is done against you and your family?

Laura Hao had to answer these questions and so many more when she lost her husband in a senseless murder in 2018. Laura had always dreamed of becoming a missionary since she was a little girl. She realized that dream and moved to Asia as a young woman. There, she met her husband, had her four children and began working as missionaries in the place the Holy Spirit had planted a seed of a dream in her heart so many years ago. Together, they experienced blessing and favor as they served the Lord and sought to build the Church in a closed part of the world.

But that all changed just two days after returning to the United States for a time of refreshment and visiting loved ones. While packing her daughter's bag for camp the next day, gun shots echoed just outside the door. She opened it to find a traumatic scene, her husband was lying lifeless on the ground after being shot in a random act of violence.

Laura experienced the depths of the darkness that grief can bring. Feeling buried like a seed, she felt as though she was frantically grappling her way out of the dark. But through it, she also experienced the illuminating light of truths that can only be found in the recesses of pain. In this raw conversation, Davey and Laura talk through a shared experience of learning to live in the darkness of a painful loss, how to trust the Lord in the seasons fo grief, and how justice, mercy and forgiveness all coexist.

The truths Laura and Davey share are ones that will help you as you navigate the most difficult parts of your story with honesty and hope, whatever it may be.

What if your worst-case scenario happened? Could you still say that God is good? For military spouse Liset Navas, those questions prompted a searching and wrestling with God long before she lost her husband, US Marine Captain Mo Navas in combat in 2020.

Just days before the world shut down from Covid, Liset got the knock at the door that no military wife wants to receive.

In her grief, Liset found that she had to answer those hard questions about God and His goodness while walking her four young children through the painful loss of their father.

In this episode, Davey has a conversation with Liset about the importance of numbering our days as well as our spouse's, grieving with hope, and leaning into the fears and doubts that come before and after a loss.

Whether or not you are a military spouse, this episode is a powerful challenge for us all to keep a heavenward perspective about life and learn to live each day to the fullest.

Have you ever asked yourself how life can be good again after a devastating loss? Have you found yourself having to learn to depend on God in your deepest pain?

Author and speaker Lisa Appelo knows all too well what it looks like to search for meaning and joy in life when your world falls apart. In the summer of 2011, she found herself a widow and single mom of seven children after the sudden, tragic loss of her husband, Dan.

Davey chats with Lisa about how she walked her children through their own painful grief, how death revealed her idol of self-sufficiency and how she learned to lean on God for everything in her journey towards healing.

Whether or not you have lost a spouse, Lisa's wisdom on how pain can shape us and wake us up to eternity is for you. Her story is a reminder, no matter what your pain, that life can be good again.

How do we learn to walk with grief? Clarissa Moll has been learning to do just that ever since losing her husband, Rob, in a tragic hiking accident in 2019. Through her pain, Clarissa has seen grief transform her into a more compassionate person while teaching her how to live more fully in the midst of great loss.

In this conversation, Davey and Clarissa sit down to talk about what to do with the most intimate, sacred parts of your story, how to transform your trauma into post-traumatic growth and ways to help others who are hurting while still in your own pain.

On one fateful day, Jon Hagedorn gathered his wife and children to engage in a family tradition of theirs, something they did to make sure they always remembered God’s goodness and faithfulness. But they couldn’t have known how much that belief was going to be tested.

Mere hours later, Jon’s wife died suddenly. Facing life as a single father while dealing with his own grief, Jon had no choice to face the same questions that any of us would ask in that situation.

Is God really good or really faithful if he let this happen?

To conclude our Widowhood Series, Jon sits down with Davey to share his story and how he found a deeper, richer knowledge of God in the midst of unimaginable pain.

We all hope that our faith will leave a legacy, that our decisions to follow God even in the middle of incredible hardship will have affect the lives of people who haven’t even been born yet. Faithfulness, it turns out, has a way of rippling across generations to impact the lives of our children’s children’s children.

This is the story of Jim and Martha Blackburn. Having both lost their first spouses themselves, Jim and Martha found themselves in a unique position to minister to Davey, their grandson, in the wake of the loss of his late wife Amanda.

To continue our Widowhood Series, Davey sits down with his grandparents Jim and Martha as they share their story of loss, healing, faithfulness, and redemption.

There are certain words and phrases that we all dread to hear, and perhaps one of the worst is when a doctor says “cancer.” When Brandon Janous’ wife was diagnosed, he knew their family was in for a long, hard struggle. But sadly, Brandon’s wife wouldn’t make it through this season.

Suddenly left grieving one of the worst losses imaginable and with three children to take care of, Brandon found himself in an impossible situation.

In this installment of our Widowhood Series, Brandon sits down with Davey to share some of his story and what he’s learned about who God really is through this painful season.

Every partner of someone with an especially dangerous job has to face the reality that there is always a chance their husband or wife won’t make it home one day.

But no amount of theoretical expectations could have prepared Gracie Parrish for the day when two uniformed police officers showed up at her door to deliver the last piece of news she would have ever wanted.

Suddenly left as a single mother of two young children, Gracie found herself on a difficult journey that she could never have expected. To continue our widowhood series, Gracie sits down with Davey and Kristi to share her story of loss, grief, redemption, and newfound purpose.